Me, Myself, and I

For a long time I've noticed that Americans generally talk about themselves all the time. That doesn't mean that Americans are self centered, but it does say something about our culture. We are very self-oriented people that build our lives around what is best for us (and the people we love). In American culture, it is considered the norm to talk about one's self and relate one's personal experiences to other's experiences - this is just the way we interact. Other cultures, however, may hear us and think that we are all self-righteous and conceited because all we do is say me, myself, and I while other cultures speak more of their families, friends, towns, villages, and neighborhoods. Today all I have is a question. What are the pros and cons of talking more about one's life and experiences versus one's friends and families lives and experiences?

I just want to sip my tea!

Today I woke up at two pm. My eyes were tired, my body was tired, my brain was tired. There was almost nothing that could entice me to remove my lethargic self from those silky warm blankets. The mattress sucked me in, enveloping my shoulders and my legs in a gentle, yet, almost magnetic embrace. One could compare the feeling to a small pebble being dropped into a sweet, intoxicating mug of tea - the liquid pulling it in and wrapping itself around the pebble, lulling it into a soft sleep.

I felt heavy. As I laid there, flashes of my responsibilities piled in my head, weighing me down and pressing against the brim of my skull. Get up get up get up!!! I would not get up. I was paralyzed with exhaustion and apathy towards the apparent urgency of my work. Why should I have this awful press of guilt inside of me whenever I take time to relax? Why should I deprive myself of the simple pleasures in life in order to "get everything finished"? Is anything ever actually finished? Is there ever a day when I have absolutely nothing to do? Those are the days that I long for, that everyone longs for, but never actually gets. A moment of clarity is soon interrupted by something tick-tick-ticking in ones head - an alarm sounding off whenever someone's spent "too long" away from their responsibilities.

Many days I just want to sit in the sun on my back porch on a cool afternoon, dressed in something soft and comfortable - unlike my stiff kakis and jeans that confine me to the movements of those binding fabrics. I want to sit there and sip my tea, any kind of tea, and think of nothing but the smell of the trees and the rays of sunshine on my skin and the slight breeze across my face and the sweet warmth of my tea, sinking into it like that little lucky pebble. I would sit there for hours and breathe in and out, sipping my tea.  I would sit there for hours and do nothing else.

But I can't.

Instead I have to hurriedly gulp it down trying to savor every sweet drop of tea that I can while it lasts because I have to study or I have to do homework or I have to do the laundry or I have to clean the dishes or I have to practice piano or I have to clean my room or I have to do call someone or I have to do something that I forgot to do yesterday! Have to have to have to! Do I have to? No. In reality, I don't have to do any of these things and the fact that I have trouble enjoying them simply because they are there to be done is only my fault. The fact that I cannot relax without feeling guilty about it is only my fault. The fact that I "don't have time to relax" is not only my fault, but it's not even true! I have lots of time to relax! In fact, I have the rest of my life to relax. I simply choose to spend that time working, worrying, and not relaxing instead.

Now, I know that I am not the only one who has this problem. I am positive that every person in the United States could read this and relate to it in some way, shape, or form. What I am not positive about is whether someone from Rome or Lima or New Guinea or New Deli could say the same. My question is, why? Why are Americans so scheduled and orderly? Why are they so obsessed with saving time? Why do they punish themselves for relaxing when they have work to do? Why do they set handwork on such a high pedestal? Do they believe that handwork pays off in the end leading to ultimate happiness and time for relaxation? Because if happiness and relaxation is what we are aiming for right now, why not be happy and relaxed right now? I suppose Americans, including myself, lead themselves into this facade of assurance that by rushing through our days trying to do everything perfectly and get everything done and   suck the best out of everything we can, then eventually, there will come a day when we have time to do nothing and need nothing and want nothing. Well, I can say right now that that day will never come - that is, it will never come through the stressful technique we are using now.


This idea that we must feel guilty for not working can only lead us to exhaustion.

If we want to be happy and stress free, we should be happy and stress free.

Why not? We are here aren't we? We are breathing, aren't we?  We are alive, aren't we?

Yes, we are! And so am I. So I stayed in bed and lost myself in daydreams, dizzying off every once in a while and slipping into that delicious cup of dreams. It was so quiet. And I didn't feel the least bit guilty...  for the most part...

My standing question is: How can the United States come to value life's pleasures as much as work?

Kitchen Cultures!

One of my very good friends lives down the street I spend a lot of time at her house where she lives with her mom. Both she and her mom are Chinese and I notice many cultural differences between her family and mine. The most significant differences are about food - my favorite topic! One of the more obvious differences is that we often eat with chopsticks (and I must say that I am becoming quite skilled at the art of using that particular utensil!), but, I have used chopsticks many times before and we even have a drawer of chopsticks at my house. Another difference is that, while each of us have our own bowl, we all eat from the same platters and dishes, sometimes putting food into our own bowl, and sometimes eating the food straight from the platters. I like eating from one big dish but I know that if my sister or I tried to eat straight from platters and plates at our table we'd get fussed at because it spreads germs and it's rude! Another difference is that they always have food lying around the kitchen that they pick at throughout the day. My mom NEVER leaves food out (except cookies...) because she is afraid of getting food poisoning and attracting bugs. Also, when I visit my friend's house, I am always urged to eat everything I want, whereas in my house, my family always offers food and drinks to guests but doesn't push them to eat it.

I spent some time thinking about some reasons that there are these differences between my families food habits and my friend's family's food habits and it came down to this theory: my family's lifestyle is very American and is always concerned about cleanliness, saving, and instant gratification, whereas my friend's culture, while influenced significantly by American culture, is also influenced by her Chinese culture and is concerned with not wasting anything and using what you have. This is why my family worries about germs, bugs, and saving what food we have, and her family leaves food out so that they can finish it by the end of the day, offer lots of food to me when I visit, and they also eat from platters of the main dish so as not to take too much of a serving and waste what they didn't eat. This is all just a theory but I would love to here other interpretations as well!

Amour! Hayam! Liebe! Amor! Kaerlighed! Love!

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, I did a little research on ways that different cultures from different countries celebrate Valentine's Day. Here are some websites I found that discuss the various ways that people from all over the world celebrate love.

Valentine's Day Around the Globe: How Other Cultures Celebrate

Valentine's Day Around the World

Tradition's From Around the World at St. Valentine's Net